Settling custody matters out of court

If you're going through a divorce, chances are you and your soon-to-be ex will not be on the best of terms. There was a time when you were both in love, but if you've decided to go your separate ways, there must be some level of tension in the relationship. That can make the divorce process even more difficult because through all the hurt feelings and animosity, you both have to come to an agreement on issues like property division, child custody, and support.

While you may be ready to throw up your hands and let the courts decide everything, there are reasons to consider alternatives. Typically letting the court decide can be a Solomon situation where the baby is cut in half and neither side is happy with the result. Also, working things out without the courts can sometimes mend fences and make for a much more pleasant process.

Here are some of your options for settling custody out of court: 

  • Both of you can sit down and decide on an equitable resolution, bring it to the court and have the judge sign off.
  • You could use a mediator to make sure that old resentments don't make their way into the argument.

Either way, you may want to consider having a family law attorney by your side who is well-versed in collaborative law. Doing so can make the process much less painful and it may even lead to a better relationship with your ex. Communication, especially when you have an attorney assisting you, can lead to an easier process.


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